Moving beyond acceptance (tolerance) to the area of self love

I have done a lot of work with people around the concept of acceptance. When you work on the acceptance of everything and the concept of “loving what is” (Byron Katie), this creates a certain tolerance for you to manage whatever might show up for you in your life. This should seem exciting, because things bother you less. You learn what you have control over and what you do not have control over. Other people’s decisions have a decreased effect on you. All of this is very positive. But then what? What should life look like after acceptance? Is the answer to love and joy found within the tolerance of others? I do not think it is. The answer to love and joy is found within you and your vibrational alignment with your higher self. So what is your higher self? Simply put, it is that which makes you happy. Too often people look for happiness with what they do. For instance, I play soccer because it makes me happy or I stay in this relationship because it makes me happy. This type of thinking is based on a codependent model, which means if you cannot play soccer then you cease to be happy. Or if you cannot maintain your relationship then you cease to be happy.

Alignment with your higher self is centered around the concept that “I am happy:” that is why I play soccer, or why I choose to be in this type of relationship. This type of believe is expansive rather than limiting. When you limit yourself with beliefs that you need something in order to be happy, your happiness becomes elusive. You will never catch it. The belief that your happiness is in front of you all the time in everything you do and everything around you is a expanding belief. This aligns you with your higher self. There is no room for disease within this state of being. There is no room for depression, for anxiety, for cancer. There is only room for joy and productivity. People who suffer states of disease are not moving in a direction of productivity. They might possibly be doing this on a very materialistic level but in regards to the production of their joy and the alignment with the higher self, the obstacles only become greater.

Take time to understand your belief system and question how it is working for you. Explore the concept of becoming happy first and then doing. Break the codependent model through acceptance of everyone’s choices, as well as your own. But then keep moving towards abundant self love for true healing to happen.


Naturopathic physician who is educating people about their health in order to empower them to practice self care.